Blah blah blah… Movies made from video games suck. It’s a fact, almost a scientific principle really. So why does Hollywood even keep trying? I’ll tell you why, because they want more money… And therein lies the problem. There’s no passion in these movies, just an attempt to cash in on a profitable franchise. I’m on this tirade because it seems like Legendary Pictures is going to make a Mass Effect movie. So, in an homage to the horrific-ness of video game based movies, here’s my list of top ten most terrible movies made from video games listed from best-of-the-worst to worst-of-the-worst (only the ones I’ve seen though).
Wayward Gamer’s Top 10 Worst Video Game-Based Movies
10 Tomb Raider
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t exactly a good movie, but it gets the best-of-the-worst because at least its got some action that makes some sort of sense.
9 Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Ditto number 10, except not as good.
8 Resident Evil: Extinction
This movie was boooooring! The action was lame because I didn’t care and the premise of the plot was so overblown at this point that I completely wrote off the entire Resident Evil franchise for good.
7 Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Okay, this was at least action packed, had a plot that made some sort of sense, but the ending was atrocious and the cheese factor was a little too high for me.
6 Doom
Doom is lucky it didn’t get higher (lower?) on this list if not for the first person sequence alone. But as luck would have it there are four other movies a lot worse than this one. And this one is really bad!
5 Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
I would have to say that this movie marked the eventual downfall of the Final Fantasy franchise (yes I’m talking about the games). The movie was slow, boring and disjointed, and the ending was SUPER lame. I harbor a special hatred for Square Enix for this and every other bastardization of Final Fantasy after it.
4 Mortal Kobat: Annahilation
Well, now we enter the cheese factor. Some things just don’t translate to film from a video game and costumes of fighting game characters is one of them. Also, bad martial arts in a movie anytime after 1995 is just unacceptable.
3 Super Mario Bros.
Holy WOW this movie was bad! Not just cheesy, but poorly written, acted and directed. I wish I could just wipe my memory clean of the existence of this movie altogether.
2 Street Fighter
Well, Street Fighter makes number two for one simple reason: It stakes a big steaming s**t on the game and its characters, eats it all and then s**ts it back out again. Then it tries to paint a Picasso with it, but it ends up just being a bunch of s**t smears. Did I mention this movie was s**t!?
1 Double Dragon
Congratulations to Paul Yukich, Paul Dini, Neal Shusterman, Michael Davis and Peter Gould for discovering the best way to punch every single gamer in the baby makers in a single stroke. Thanks for that guys! It won you the honor of being the worst-of-the-worst movies made from a video game! I just hope that some day I can repay you all in kind! Douche bags…